I gotta level with you about a couple things. One: I don’t think I really have enough WFMU premiums to really have a good list of “the best”. Altho I’ve got more than 10, I’ve only been an active listener for the last 15 years, and most of those years I haven’t had enough cash on hand to go up to the premium level (a few came from the volunteer gimmie bin) but it’s less than 20. There’s like 70 of these things every year for…a lotta years. Two: Speaking of a lot of years, I’ve been doing this blog for almost 5. (That’s at least 27 in blog years, I don’t know.) I have not done what I consider 5 years worth of record reviews, it’s mostly bullshit. I might not have 5 years worth of record reviews, but I do have 5 years of record review queuing.

Because of my deep belief in and total commitment to utter absurdity, I intend to somehow review all of those records. And yet, if I see an opportunity to knock out more than one at a time, I’m taking it. So I’m just including all of the WFMU premiums that were in my queue in this list. Which is not fair to a lot of other premiums, but I’ll try to make up for it somehow with some honorable mention cheat like every other goddamn list I’ve done.

The premiums I speak of usually take the form of CDR mixtapes. There’s a variety of different non-musical premiums like t-shirts, videos, comicbooks and various tchotchkes. These are outside the scope of this blog. After going over the list I’ve also decided to exclude the insane LP of all locked grooves Running in Place which you can and must just buy from their store. (For less than a tenth of what I paid for as a premium, but whatever, that's cool. Good cause. I'm cool with that. Not an exclusive piece. I couldn't have really thought that at the time, right? It's cool.)

And of course, there are many premiums that are mostly talking, which are hilarious and completely worth your time, probably all available via file-sharing since they are very popular. But if have enjoyed those without donating, shame on you.

The WFMU marathon is on RIGHT NOW. (Last day.) And if you cannot donate money right now, at least listen so that you feel terrible about not donating in the future. But in that future, don’t feel terrible, donate. Or buy something directly from the store. You’re one of those people aren’t you, who complains about everyone selling out, but only puts money out for the art of those that have died of poverty-related circumstance? Of course you are. But you can change. The DJs and staff of WFMU are among the last non-sold-out people left, and most of them are still alive. But for how long? They seem to be in good health. I think. Don’t worry about it, I’m sure they’ll be fine. I mean, I’m not worried about it is all.

1. V/A | Don’t Shoot the Toy Piano Player (2002)

   This is part of a class of premiums
   also available in the Crapola store. It’s like a best of other premiums you can’t buy, but even better as it’s a real, manufactured CD. (A 2-CD set in fact, with the fancy case and all.) This one is my favorite, as it contains the best songs from Scott Williams‘ 2000 premium Put A Motor in Yourself, which I almost include separately. You’ve got Kinski (fearing Mogwai), Peaches & Gonzales when they were billed as a duo (and feat. Feist), I like that live session better than the album. (Looking closer, a lot of these songs here were from sessions with Scott, but different songs, you should check out those archives.) Plus there’s early Mastodon from Diane Kamikaze and Lightning Bolt from Brian Turner and Dead Moon from Joe Belock’s show. All classic shit. Plus Rick Benson, who I don’t remember honestly, but I trust it was funny.

2. Mike Lupica | Anti Static, Volume 1 (2009)

   Mike is like my older brother who wants nothing to do with me and who can blame him? I used to listen to his show Hey You Kids, Get Off My Lawn on WPRB when I was in high school (it really sounds like I’m making this up), where I first heard I lot of this music, which he hates having referred as “indie rock”, but it’s what me and other 35-year-old whippersnappers might call it. There’s a picture of Pier Platters on the cover, a record store I heard about for years but never visited before it closed. There’s a good write-up about it on his blog, which almost mirrors my own experiences, yet painfully more authentic.

3. DJ /rupture | All AutoTune All the Time (2009)

   I got some mixed feelings about AutoTune, and I didn’t listen to this show that much, but within any style of music there’s gotta be someone doing it right, so I took the deep dive challenge with this. It really does date the music in the way you expect, but it’s like the way old Bollywood music put a ton of reverb on everything. You can come to appreciate it. There was supposed to be liner notes posted on his website but he apparently never got around to it. There’s plenty he wrote about it in general tho.

4. Fabio | Drone Zone (2009)

   Just what it sounds like. [I had this listed on tumblr as “Drone Prone” for the last 4 1/2 years and nobody said anything. Thanks.] Chanting, sitars, hurdy-gurdys, and some of that Hermann Nitsch music it’s so hard to find a psychical copy of. “With EXTRA Strength Through Failure”

5. HotRod | Drum Roll, Please (2009)

   This one is not like a mixtape, but like a series of continuous dance mixes, except not at all what you’d hear at a dance club. Mostly drum based, no info. Some of it’s obvious like there’s a Nine Inch Nails beat in there, but I’d love a full playlist on this thing. I was never sure if I knew the identity of this DJ so I didn’t ask.

6. Stork | Rufus Harley Live at the Stork Club (2001)

   Simply a full live performance by Rufus on bagpipes and soprano sax with son Messiah on trumpet. The closest I got to seeing the man live while he was around, which is a big regret.

7. Bryce | Flattery (2009)

   Byrce’s show is great because if you lose reception or there’s some glitch in the online stream, it’s impossible to tell if it’s part of the show or not. You could be sitting around thinking, “hey, I’ll just listen to nothing for a while, whatever”, until his soothing voice comes on the air, “that was Whole Lotta Nothing by Phil Nobody”. So this CD is not really like that. His own description is better than mine: “Melody on drums, strings for rhythm. Animals from instruments, animals as instruments. Musical switcheroos and other traditional curiosities.”

8. Janitor from Mars | Stop the Clock (2003)

   One of those late-night shows that comes and goes, Japanese psyche mostly. Stuff I should know more about, but doesn’t stick with my as much as other J-music. He’s got an url with a tilda in it, so you know it’s serious.

9. Ken | (Schwingin’ Mit Der Original) Axis of Evil (2002)

   Weird Pop from Italy, Germany and Japan. Another show that covers old J-pop is Rob Weisberg’s Transpacific Sound Paradise, but my taste overlaps more with Ken’s, except when it comes to cover art I guess, this one’s kind of a doozy.

10. Dan Bodah | Beautiful Sounds Coming Out of the Ground: The Best of the Subway Music Series (2002)

    Sometimes you need to stay up all night wandering the streets of NYC, soaking in the ambiance, checking out the street musicians, writing terrible poetry in your head, etc. Other times you stay up all night in your apartment, maybe with your roommate who just doesn’t get it, man, listening to a radio show of ambient field recordings of NYC street musicians. Other times you listen to a CD of those recordings in the middle of the day which is not quite the same but it’s nice to have and how else is any of that stuff going to more than tears in the rain.

Honorable Mentions

• Donna | Prattle (2002)
  This and the previous year’s Babble are both excellent collections of the most bizarre avant-garde and far-out tribal vocalizations imaginable. But this one went above and beyond with the CD design. If you have this one there’s like a one in ten chance I put the sticker on the CD.

• Greasy Kid Stuff | Great Green Gobs & Other Delights (2001)
  The best GKS mix collects all the gross songs, including Weird Al and Dr. Demento hits of my misspent youth such as Fish Heads, songs the Muppets covered like The Sound of Worms and even Oscar the Grouch himself doing I Love Trash. Plus Shel Silverstein, Fred Lane, The Stinky Puffs, and you got Penn Jillette on the title track. All behind a lovely cover by Bob Piersanti. Too perfect.

Aaand I’ve got a Joe Frank CD in my queue which could have been from FMU but I’m pretty sure I bought it directly from the site so that’s it. Later. %