Posts Tagged GWAR
Numerical Notation: A Minor Threat
Hoo boy. Year of the Sheep, right? Some people only seem to notice when it’s a “cool” animal like a dragon or a snake. We have a name for these people: DILETTANTES. There’s nothing cool about sheep, except this Minor Threat cover, so get used to seeing that I guess. But wait, it’s the Year of the Ram, isn’t it? Rams are cool. What with the head-butting and…that’s it. It’s enough. Give rams a chance. Or goats, who cares.
But I’m not here to review Minor Threat. Or talk about astrology. I’ve listened to enough Minor Threat for a lifetime (since I bought the Complete Discography on CD, in 2006) and it’s unlikely to make it back in rotation, unlike the Chinese Zodiac which repeats every twelve years…of course.
Forget all this happened.
Shit, that’s still the title isn’t it. Look, I’m gonna explain.
I’ve made a system of numerical notation. I call it Numerical Notation. The notes of the chromatic scale are given the number 0-11, starting with A.
In this system, if you care about the Modes (which you should, if you care about why there is a lettered system) the Aeolian mode, or A Minor, is the base scale, not C Major(the Ionian). It’s debatable that A Minor was historically, originally the more important. I think it sounds better. That’s not important. The important thing is to make this a non-vague point. Because I have noticed some other examples using notes for numbers starting with C as 0. I even said in earlier posts that you might as well do this if it makes more sense, but it doesn’t, in the big picture, and I’m gonna make the case that this is not some kind of arbitrary nerd bullshit dicking-around.
Here we are then with example one:
The sharp/flat system has been primarily designed for use in the major/minor system; when speaking modally, it’s a lotta look, to quote a famous fashion designer. All the flats and sharps tend to obscure the simplicity […] We need a different system of talking about melody. If C is assigned the number 0, C# the number 1, all the way up to B = 11, we can study the system numerically, and also universally, as any tonic can be assumed. Zero can just as easily be G#, or E. Also, since the tonic can never change by our definition, it’s not necessary to include it. Here’s an example to show what I’m talking about.
C Mixolydian is C D E F G A Bb C. If we assume that C = 0, and continue from there, then C Mixolydian can also be described as 0 2 4 5 7 9 10 12.
This post is excellent and you should read the whole thing. I should read the whole thing. The point is that here is someone making essentially the same point as me, naming the notes 0-11 (12=0), but starting with C. (Note that is doesn’t predate my initial posts.) Not saying he stole it, but I also said it was an “open source” idea, which is a pretty dumb way to talk because it is not a computer program. But I guess that can be interpreted as “feel free to steal this idea”. I was drinking a lot at the time. It’s not like you can patent this kind of thing anyway.
But let’s run with the open source concept and say he explained the idea better. I’m gonna bring it back around and explain why it’s easier for everyone if A=0.
But first(second), example two:
This is from a video that goes on to explain a new type of keyboard layout for an experimental instrument called a Terpestra. Now this is the kind of thing you can patent and even sell. Good luck to him. Again, not saying he stole the idea. Even if he did, can you really expect drop-in citations in a video like this? It’s not relevant who came up with each idea in this kind of presentation. It’s also kind of an obvious idea once it’s out there. Not as obvious as starting with 1 tho.
But it’s about to get even more obvious. Check this out:
Ａ ａ# Ｂ Ｃ ｃ# Ｄ ｄ# Ｅ Ｆ ｆ# Ｇ ｇ#
０ １ ２ ３ ４ ５ ６ ７ ８ ９ １０ １１
Ｃ ｃ# Ｄ ｄ# Ｅ Ｆ ｆ# Ｇ ｇ# Ａ ａ# Ｂ
Which one of these makes more sense? You might still pick C if you are already trained in music, but how would you explain that to a student? The letters and numbers should be going in the same direction. It’s intuitive.
If you never start, you can never branch out into other things, like the higher concepts these other guys are talking about and the simplest way is the best way to start.
So while you are thinking about all this, here’s a video of GWAR covering the Pet Shop Boys:
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GWAR | Scumdogs of the Universe
Thisssssssszzzzzzzzsssssssssszzzssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss is not the only or last GWAR album that I have purchased, but it’s the only one I currently own. I sold the others a while ago, and haven’t kept up with the new ones for at least a decade. Can’t say I regret it all that that much, but there are a couple things I do regret—1: repairing my keyboard at the beginning of the draft and just leaving it in there like people would think it was funny or something. There’s nothing funny about that. But what can you do, there’s no going back, man. 2: Looking up the wiki for the album after I had most of the thing written in my head. This might not seem like a big deal, but I’ve wasted precious mental real estate assembling my hard-won observations over the years, when all has been previously laid out in the plainest of prose. Depressing.
And why did it take me so long to notice the Al Jourgensen and Paul Barker of Ministry co-produced? (They are actually credited with their real names if you read all the fine print, unlike any member of the band.) But who is this mysterious “Ron Goudie”? Hoho, Wikipedia, you can tell everyone what they already know but remove what we don’t. I’ve got the info of Ron Goudie alright, that you think you can hide! Turns out he is a guy. Some kind of musician. Well.
Wait, there’s probably something I can say about this besides trivia. It’s good, right? In my opinion? Yeah, it’s the best. There’s some good songs on the other albums but this is the only real classic full album. Look, I compared Gwar to Mastodon and maybe it averages out, like Gwar is 80% live experience 20% album and Mastodon is the reverse, but it’s kinda the same thing. BUT. IS. IT. ?. Oh, I see what’s going on here. You’re trying to get me to admit that Gwar’s songs are not that good and it’s basically a joke band. Mastodon is not a joke band. What kind of asshole would even suggest that.
I will not admit it. I do not think it’s true. The good songs on this album are as good as anybody’s. They are completely credible Metal songs. At least the one’s Brockie sings. He was a real guy, man. And non-Metal people will praise the band at a distance, like, “they play live in those rubber suits every night, that’s dedication, gotta give those guys credit”…because the problem for some people is the authenticity vs. a regular clothes-wearing, non-pretending-to-be-space-aliens band like Mastodon.
And let’s talk about the artwork for a second. Wiki’s got nothing to say about that. In addition to everything else, there was also a Gwar comicbook that they sold at their shows. I was always too broke and covered in fake bodily fluids to get a copy. The integration of that art to the inside of the album was reason alone to hold onto it. I love the super-deformed versions on the characters and the bios. (“Balsac the Jaws of Death: Has a beartrap for a face, but why?”)
But there are the songs. Yes. I love the songs. There are the obvious joke songs: NWA take-off The Salaminizer, what I’m going to call a “spoken-word piece” Slaughterama, and show-stopper, Sexecutioner. These tracks may not hold up in the harsh glare of adulthood. They may have been the only tracks you have heard. And probably Sick of You. That was like, a single.
So they do these dumb(?) singalongs and these joke songs. Why do I take them seriously?
Take a song with fairly typical Metal lyrics like The Years Without Light. If they made a whole album of songs like this it would be better than most Anthrax albums, admit it. 95% of Thrash albums are attitude and stringing riffs together, most bands don’t always try make each song so individual and able to stand on its own. Thr broken gallop beat, the vocal cadence, it’s great.
Then you’ve got the songs like Maggots, King Queen, and Horror of Yig, my personal favorites, incorporating theatrical flourishes and sound effects that take you into the world of their unique live experience, but never leaving the musical world of Metal. Except for the bagpipes, which Korn stole. I don’t get the reason for either, but I like the instrument. Is there some kind of gay connotation? There’s a lot of gay references on the album that I don’t get why they’re there. (The printed lyrics are annotated by a member of “The Morality Squad” with things like “shocking!”) Maybe the live show originally had Oderus cross-dressing? If so they dropped that by the time I saw them in…’97, w/ the Misfits. And Mephiskapheles. And Earth Crisis?!? That was a thing that happened.
Then you’ve got (not in this order) Vlad the Impaler, Love Surgery and Death Pod, all solid standards. Black and Huge has the most obvious Ministry-like touches, with porn movie samples, not so obviously dropped in there, but woven into the texture, or perhaps layered, like a delicious industrial metal lasagna. Possibly the least defensible lyrics, because they don’t really make enough sense to be offensive. I’m not going to try to explain someone else’s in-joke. This one and album closer Cool Place to Park, a total vocal departure sung in high screams by Beefcake, always puzzled me as far fitting into the concept of the album. It all ends with the sound of sinking underwater. Maybe I need to read more Lovecraft.
Donate to the Dave Brockie Foundation or buy a t-shirt in an unresonable size b/c you waited too long
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