Since time immemorial, man has made introductory disclaimers to lists. Grand and authoritative, yet totally not a big deal, the introduction of a year end list discounting the importance, even complete futility of such lists, leading into the exact same type of list, is at this point in history, a refined art. But in making such a statement, I would be declaring my myself a master of such an art, which is something I would never want to be seen doing. Luckily no one reads these introductions.

1. Best J-pop video

   Close enough.

2. Best Albums I Did Not Buy

   Best album trailer. No real competition. Didn’t really listen to it. But am sure to be subjected to it plenty at terrible parties which are really, really terrible sober. But that’s my life. (Not really anymore.)

   • Swans – The Seer

     I am afraid of Swans. Some people say that but they have all the albums, like that guy who’s afraid of spiders but he has 6 aquariums of tarantulas in his bedroom. You know that guy? No you don’t. There’s no guy like that. The best you can do conquering a true fear is to not have a total breakdown in its presence. So I was able to deal with Swans in streaming form this year in limited amounts but that’s as good as it gets.

   • Namie Amuro – Uncontrolled

     This album I listened to a lot. I would have liked to buy it but can’t spend $40 on a CD right now. $30 has always been the upper limit. Of course, there’s a Namie page on iTunes right now but it only has a long bio that stops at 2005 and no music. That’s shitty. Even people that already like J-pop aren’t talking about stuff that is not available digitally somehow. (Also, everything is available digitally now…actually it’s been 10 years.) Most don’t even bother with piracy anymore; this CD-only stuff is becoming invisible. I sometimes justify the expense of J-CDs for the language learning value of having the official booklet and all but this album is mostly in English.

3. There were some good J-pop videos for real tho, right?

   Yes, and Perfume ruled the year without putting an album together. And Kyary still rules when she’s not ripping off Tommy heavenly6. (Altho Tommy herself has gone off…that double album had some good stuff, but not really that memorable.) And there’s that group with only one song. You think Namie would have one in there but she never bothered to put out any full-length videos this year. Unless you’re supposed to buy them on DVD or something. That’s not happening. (She seems to not care all that much anymore in the videos anymore.) Can you blame her? Hardly anyone’s going to see them. She’s locked into a losing strategy.

   There was some other good stuff coming out of net-phobic Avex label: Koda Kumi’s Lay Down and Crystal Kay’s Delicious na Kinyoubi. Not especially great videos, but good songs, available, like the entire albums, on the internet. (For which Avex gets $0.) But neither album was close to Namie’s. (Available for $0 or $40, which will you choose?)

4. Top 5 Albums of Significant Significance

   In the order I thought of them:

   • Purity Ring – Shrines

   • Converge – All We Love We Leave Behind

   • Deerhoof – Breakup Song

   • Anaal Nathrakh – Vanitas

   • Baroness – Yellow & Green

   Sigh, Gojira, Meshuggah, Melvins, Overkill and Killing Joke made really good albums but didn’t stand out as much as their last albums. And I just realized I bought the new Torche but didn’t listen to it yet. I bet I’m forgetting some other stuff.

5. Top 5 Albums I bought on Bandcamp

   In the order I liked them:

   • YAMANTAKA//SONIC TITAN – S/t

   • LLLL – S/t

   • Hunters – Hands on Fire

   • Author & Punisher – Ursus Americanus

   • Sebadoh – Secret EP

6. Best live shows

   So many great shows this year. I missed most of them. But I did manage to see some bands that I had missed in previous years so I feel like I’m caught up on the bare minimum of show attendance. The only way this changes in 2013 is if I can make more money or get a job as a roadie or something.

   • Motorhead/Megadeth@MSG

     So glad I saw Megadeth before Mustaine had that complete meltdown. Everything surrounding this show was more almost more enjoyable than the show itself tho, I had almost the worst seat at the back of the theater and the sound was terrible. But I got to check off several things off an imaginary list.

   • Ghost/Opeth/Mastodon@Electric Factory

     This place has great sound. Swore off going here for years, I’m dumb. It’s not bad in general, it’s not even that big a place. I think the last show I saw there before this I was actually psychically smaller, I had this memory of this large, impersonal space. Weird. Ghost and Opeth put on good tho subdued shows, and Mastodon was so great. Getting up front for that is like the most I’ve felt at home at a show in a while, even tho I had to take off my glasses and couldn’t barely even see anything except lasers most of the show. Sounded way better than any live recording I’ve heard of them or any video out there, vox too. (I could have just been like, enjoying myself.) Parking situation sucks tho.

   • Converge@Union Transfer

     This new venue is amazing. Those old Philly punk venues are going to seem more special for their use of odd rundown spaces (This space is also repurposed, but it seems new. They actually fixed it up.), but this place has a real sound system. Which is nice if you like music. Oh, Converge is amazing live, too.

   • Decibel Tour@The Troc

     I talked about this already. All these bands were great. They couldn’t really do the blood thing cause it’s Philly, which is fine by me. Behemoth I did not realize how much they use backing tracks, don’t think I mentioned that. They’re almost like an industrial band.

7. Best list

   • INVISIBLE ORANGES | The Most Metal Astronomical Objects

   Personal fave: Magnetar SGR 1806-20

8. Best Mix

   the_e | Japanese_e Dozen (Dirte_e Dozen Mix 08/12)

   J-rap has not done too well lately; even the big name singers and bands are getting crushed by the idol machine. This is great mix of ‘real’ hip-hop into dance stuff and then classic pop. There’s even a cover of an anime song. But all almost seamless, some amazing segues.

9. Best comic-based pop music history series

   • Ed Piskor’s Brain Rot: Hip Hop Family Tree

   Semi-related: How sad is it that people don’t get that Gangnam Style is a modified version of the Apache dance which Will Smith did not invent? Teach your damn kids.

10. Best video-based pop music history & meta-criticism

    Chris Ott, Shallow Rewards, obvs. He’s not into J-pop or Metal very much of course. There’s more to life tho, c’mon, vast audience.

So I got a lot of stuff straightened out now so I’m going to be reviewing a lot of records but it’s almost completely out of a nervous compulsion to keep following through with a project. I think I’ve learned some organizational skills I can apply to other stuff, maybe even to jobs that still exist in America. Haha, just kidding. Happy New Year, suckers! %