Sorry about all this. When I started out, writing this sentence, I figured it might go somewhere funny. I was wrong. But then I wrote another sentence, then another. And here we are.

I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about half the time and that’s when I’m talking about myself. I dunno what it is. All I’m trying to do is express my true self accurately in cold dead words on a computer screen; everyone else I talk to says it’s easy. The other day I was talking to Sammy, I mean Mark, you’d know him as Mark, Twain that is, I mean I go to his grave sometimes wherever that is and just talk, you know? And I don’t really expect an answer, but I’m like, “Why can’t I do this?” And he’s all like, “Fuck you, Rain Man.” Damn. That’s cold, Mark Twain. Just because you’re a long-dead, universally acclaimed literally genius does not make me a retard. But so many other things do, and this is the real problem. I scrambled myself. It was intentional. I used to know my limitations and tried to overcompensate in other areas. It wasn’t easy but it was working out. Then it was turned upside-down. I thought it had to be done. I followed the opposite of every instinct. Hijinx ensued. Fun was had. Unfun, had. Ok. We did that. Can’t be sustained. I’m ok with it.

I think there’s some middle way to go. I posted this thing over on tumblr it just a reblog like most of my posts lately (and an old one, have a bunch of reblogs saved as drafts to go through). So that’s the old Christgau doc I never saw till just now…I actually didn’t used to like him cause of a few bad reviews I didn’t agree with, but I get him a lot more now. That NYP asshole is used extremely effectively. How could you agree with that chode? Look at Christgau being all down-to-earth…great editing. Well, I should tell you that I don’t think I’m a video editor now, and I don’t think I’m Christgau because I’m quite delusional normally and can barely speak in a sentence of my own words.

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