We live in interesting times, and as an Old, I must continually remind myself they are not the times I grew up in. So when I say that I have “mixed feelings about America” or something to that effect, I feel I’m pegging myself (pause) as the garden variety degenerate Marxist that I am (I dunno, sometimes), and yet due to the staggering devolution of “Conservative” “thought”, it may actually come off as someone who is still mad about the New Deal, or Alaska and Hawaii becoming states or any kind of social progress over the last century. No. I gotta insist that despite my continued devotion to physical media (and…blogging), I am not That Old. (Or, That Young, what can ya do.) Ａｌｓｏ，it’s been pointed out to me that I’ve made some statements over the years, maybe not that long ago even, about or involving “white people”…at one point I used the word “assimilation” positively. The context was always regarding foreigners in Japan. A person moves to Japan generally does so for a much different reason than moves to America, and they are very different countries. And I also have mixed feelings about Japan, it’s not perfect, but they get some things right (maintaining infrastructure, public transportation)…I’m not one of these dipshits who thinks they were on the right side of WWII. I think Japan is a good example of how we can move on from history into something better. (But as someone who has researched moving there, their immigration procedure could use some work. As could my resume and general lifestyle, we may someday meet in the middle.) Even the worst events in history are something we can move past and people’s attitudes can change. Until the ice caps melt, then we’re pretty fucked. But until then my record player will probably keep working.

Not sure it’s the greatest attitude tbh, but it’s what I’m going with.

So it’s 10 years since the earthquake/tsunami disaster in Japan. Altho I was not directly affected, the memory is pretty vivid. Just a few months previous, I had decided that Japan was a place I should set my sights on in a more real way than I ever have. My attempts to learn the language or even visit the country up to that point could be considered “not serious” in hindsight. But several career prospects having fallen through, and my habit of daily day-drinking beginning to inhibit my ability to stay living, I needed something new to focus on, and maybe moving to Japan to teach English would be just unreasonable goal I needed to work towards. And then this thing happens. It didn’t put me off it whatsoever, it just seemed like another thing to work around. It definitely made me more committed in a way; even now it separates my friends into two distinct groups of the affected and unaffected, and it became difficult to feel as close with the latter group. And now the distinction feels even sharper. The comparison to 9/11 is pretty apt for a number of ways, (I’m thinking how one you watched happen on live broadcast tv, and the other on the internet, intellectually, the media evolution is interesting.) but personally, the decade following that event were the ones that made the least sense in my life. I could say I made some bad decisions, but I almost didn’t make any decisions, I just kind of let whatever happen. But I did start this blog? Yeah, I definitely did that. It’s a good one, right? I mean this kind of writing seems equally as pointless and self-indulgent in a hand-written private journal as a facebook post, but as a blog post that anyone could read but probably no one will, it just seems a perfect way to organize my thoughts at the moment. So thanks for indulging me, if you have. It should be noted that I did not move to Japan to teach English, but I did actually enroll in Japanese class, and I passed the JLPT, and I did go to Japan (for a week, in 2016), and I did realize I can teach English in America (a country I have mixed feelings about, but nobody’s perfect). And I will be posting more.

Gonna post here again. nbd.